The circus started when one of the pastors boarded the bus at a petrol station in Mlolongo, unleashed a well-thumped Bible, cleared his throat and began, “Brothers and sisters…” But he did not get to finish his introduction as another suited gentleman stood and asked him why he was preaching ‘in my bus.’
“I am the one who got into this bus earlier. Let me preach,” he begged.
But the ‘accused’ calmly explained that he was the one who always traveled with that particular bus, and if anyone had doubts, they should go ahead and ask the driver and the conductor (who were well paid for the service). But the conductor hurriedly said, “Mimi mambo ya Mungu siingilii. Nyinyi muhubiri nyote ama mmoja ashuke (I’m not getting involved in a God-related argument. Either you agree to preach together or disembark),” he said as the bus sped off.
But the two pastors continued arguing, making the passengers agitated.
“Si mmoja ahumbiri tukienda na mwengine arundi na mbas (why can’t one of you preach now while another preaches on the return journey)?” suggested an elderly lady.
But the pastors refused, saying another pastor in Machakos was eagerly waiting for the bus.
In the confusion, the latecomer decided to continue his preaching, only to be caught flat-footed with a salvo of blows straight on his pious face. In no time, the two were pulling and tugging at each other. But a few who saw the hilarity of the ‘holy war’ got involved, yelling and shouting in support of their favourite pastor.
Unfortunately, the conductor signaled for the driver to stop at Athi River where the two pastors were ejected from the bus, amid boos and jeers from the passengers. The pastors were left brushing rumpled suits and nursing bruised egos in silence.
- SDE
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