Sometimes I get tired of hearing myself say don’t touch! I am sure my husband gets annoyed, too, since it’s him who is doing the to'uching. It’s not that I don’t like his to'uch, you see, I really do love it to the millionth degree, but there are times when he to'uches me in a place during a certain time that makes me want to scream.
Of course I don’t scream for fear of waking up our kids who have recently decided to go on a sleep strike leaving us to rarely get any touchy feely time in anyway so I should really take it when I can get it. But I’m trying to make the best out of every touchy feely moment — trying to make the best of this moment for everyone.
So here’s my list on the places a man should never touch on a woman’s body along with the worst times to do it. Because I’m not saying these places should never be touched, I’m saying they shouldn’t be touched in certain scenarios. Men, you need to be astute. I know, it’s hard sometimes. But here’s help.
1. The ni'pple when other things are going on with our body. Avoid ni'pple pinching when we’re bre'astfeeding or about to have our per'iods. It just hurts … in the bad way.
2. The stomach after a large meal. We really want to have a flat tummy, but it’s nearly impossible most times, particularly after we just ate a cheeseburger with sweet potato French fries and had a beer. Or during a prem'enstr'ual bloat. Or when we eat anything with beans.
3. The v@'gina when it needs a bath. If you start going downtown and she pulls you back up, this is your red flag that she’s not feeling so fresh. Respect it because your attempt will be....
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