HERE ARE THE 10 WORST TYPES OF LADIES TO DATE IN NAIROBI....TRY TO AVOID NO. 4 AND 10 AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

Dating is kind of like travelling abroad: at first it’s exciting but then you start waking up in weird-smelling places, run out of money, and realize that you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Specifically, when you’re dating women in Nairobi, you’re liable to notice some common threads running through the local dating pool. From the highest of high maintenance to borderline train-wrecks.

These are the 10 worst types of chics to date in Nairobi.


1. The “One of the Guys” Chick
Place of residence: Donholm, South B or Rongai

Her life: She has too many male friends. She says stuff like “mzito,” “buda,” and “ngori.” She knows how to open a beer bottle with her teeth, because she grew up with five brothers. She listens to Young Thug and thinks that Khaligraph is super handsome.

Your first date: You don’t have to take her anywhere. She comes to your place, you eat lunch or supper then you b@'ng continuously. She tells you she doesn’t like CDs so you b@'ng her r@'w anyway coz her @'ss and t1tties are too fine

The inevitable breakup: She gives you an S'TD or you eventually get jealous and uncomfortable coz of her legions of male buddies who you suspect are also sm@'shing her.

2. The Fame Seeker
Place of residence: A cheap servants quarter in one of Nairobi’s posh estates

Her Life: She’s an upcoming singer, model. Radio presenter, actor or video vixen.

Your first date: Some expensive restaurant in Westlands or at a coffee shop in a mall. She probably told you she doesn’t do cheap stuff. You end up spending about 3k on the date yet she refuses to give you the g00dies the same day. You still decide to hold on to her because she is h0't and has style

The inevitable breakup: She starts catching feelings when she realizes you are doing better in your career yet you aren’t helping her develop hers in any way. She eventually quits to hook up with a big shot somewhere

3. The Intern
Place of residence : Still lives with her parents or is renting a place with two of her friends along Thika Road

Her life: She dresses nicely despite not getting paid. She loves her job so much and is looking to get hired at the same company after she finishes her intern-ship.

Your first date: She meets you in town after she finishes up work at 5pm. You’re super impressed by how well she keeps her appearance, she talks about work a lot, but you think her glasses are hot. Surprisingly, she likes her booze and you finish up the night buying Guarana for her at one of the lounges.

The inevitable breakup: She gets hired and shortly after she starts asking you about your career plans. She starts being unavailable quite often. You later learn that she’s b@'nging one of her bosses. That’s why she got a job so quickly.
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