“Nobody had told me about condóms until I heard from some people that it prevents pregnancy and séxually transmitted diseases,” he said. However, his excitement was deflated when he tried to explore...
He wanted to enjoy his new discovery with one of his wives t night. He said, “For the first time, I tried to use it when I wanted to sleep with my wife but she bluntly refused. She said she was not a prostitute and queried why I wanted to use a condóm when we have been married for years and never used one.”
Since then, Huese, who has 10 children, has never tried to use a condóm with any of his two wives. “I have never believed in the use of condóms anyway. This has not stopped me from having séx regularly. The woman knows the sign when the man is about to ejaculate or reach orgasm. So she has already even enjoyed it more than the man before he withdraws,” noted Huese animatedly.
The use of condóms is strange to men in Makoko, a densely populated slum town in Lagos where majority live in wooden shacks built on water.
Like Huese, many Egun people in Makoko, as well as Oko-Agbon and Ago-Egun communities in Yaba Local Council Development Area, Lagos, do not like using condóms due to their long held traditional belief in the old practice of coitus interruptus, also known as the withdrawal or pull-out method during séxual intercourse.
For centuries, this has been used as a method of birth control worldwide.
The history is not lost on the Egun people whose forefathers migrated from neighbouring Francophone West African countries like Togo and Benin Republic, as well as from Badagry, Lagos. This age old practice has been transferred to the current generation, where most of the people speak their local Egun dialect and sometimes French. Their major occupations are fishing and farming. Only a few understand English and the residents, whose maj live in wooden shacks built on murky waters oozing with an unpleasant odour.
“The use of condóm means nothing for us here as Egun people. We don’t like using condóms because we know ourselves, both women and men; we don’t go outside or sleep around. It’s those people who go outside sleeping with different people that contact such diseases like HIV,” said Lowato Luke, one of the traditional chiefs in the area.
Luke, who has two wives and 12 children, gleefully boasted that he had mastered the withdrawal method and understands his wives’ ovulation cycles. “I know the particular times to have séx with my wives, even if they are breastfeeding and I want to have séx with them, I know how to do it to prevent another pregnancy,” he said. Like Huese, he also claimed that his wives enjoy the séx more than he does. “But if you use condóm, it won’t be that enjoyable. I have never used a condóm,” he noted.
It is the same case with Kirianko Goi, in his 40s. “I don’t believe in the use of condóm because I never heard that from my father. It’s not for me to say whether I will advise my children to use condóm or not. If the young boys and girls want to have séx, they won’t tell you. This generation is clearly different from that of my father and mine. But if I’m in a position to do so, I will advise them, it is my duty to advise them,” he said.
Goi’s nephews, two young men in their 20s, one married and the other unmarried, giggled intermittently during their uncle’s brief condóm talk. But they declined comments when asked if they use condóms during séx.
Many of the men who spoke to our correspondent in the community expressed their aversion to the use of condóms during séxual intercourse and were insistent that their women enjoyed it that way.
Twenty-five-year-old Bernadette Sato, who has two children, agreed. She does not like condóm. “We don’t like using condóm. But if we don’t want to get pregnant, we know how to do it by ourselves; it pays us more that way, because we don’t like using condóm. I was told in a hospital in Cotonou, Benin Republic, where I gave birth to my first child, that people who don’t want to get pregnant can use condóm. Sometimes, I use a family planning drug before and after séx with my husband to prevent pregnancy,” she said, noting that many of her friends also don’t like condóms, while some claimed it could bring about disease. “I don’t know the type of disease, but I just don’t like condóm during séx,” she added.
Pipi Olorunwa, who has been married for 12 years and has six children, gave an insight into the female perspective. She said: “Although there is no official report that says condóm is bad; personally, I don’t like it because God did not create it. Those who created it did so because of the level of immorality in the world today so that they can enjoy themselves. There are several methods to avoid pregnancy. A couple can have séx without the wife conceiving.
“I also don’t like the chemical and odour from condóm because I believe the chemicals used in preserving the condóm could cause problems and is harmful to the body. Although I didn’t get the information from a medical expert, but everybody does according to their belief. I don’t use any drug either to prevent pregnancy. I just do it the natural way with my husband.”
“We don’t use need it or any other contraceptive because we understand how to do child spacing,’’ noted the head of the traditional chiefs in the area, 55-year-old Mr. Francis Agoyon Alashe. When probed further, he gave a timeline of the spacing among some of his 14 children as proof. It showed a two or three-year gap among them. “My children are well spaced. Some of them, including the twins, were born in 1984, 1986 and 1989. I stopped having children in 2003,” he explained, adding that he still had séx with his wives during those period without childbirth because he had ‘planned it carefully with the withdrawal method.’
“Of course, the woman enjoys it. It’s a matter of agreement between the man and the woman. We don’t like using condóms as such because we want flesh to meet flesh. If a man is too anxious during séx, he will ejaculate on time, but if he can control his excitement, he can take longer minutes,” he explained.
According to Agoyon, the use of condóms could even have ‘negative effects.’ “We believe using condóm could bring disease on its own. This could happen when the sperm goes back into the manhood. We call it ‘foon’. Then, to urinate will be very difficult,” he said
However, a medical doctor, Dr. Kareem Jamiu, punctured holes in Agoyon’s statement. “That’s not true. It’s not medically possible. But there is what is called ‘retrograde ejaculation’, where the sperm goes backwards to the bladder instead of forward. Normally, when a man wants to ejaculate, the bladder neck closes so that the sperm can easily flow forward. But if the bladder neck muscles are weak or relaxed, then it means there is a problem. Some causes of retrograde ejaculations are complications from diabetes, a malfunctioning bladder sphincter, as well as some STDs. But in a normal male, the bladder neck is normally so tight and so the sperm cannot go back,” explained Jamiu, who once worked with the Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières during their intervention programme in Makoko, Oddo and Badia communities in Lagos State.
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