Here Is Ciku Muiruri's Message To Vera Sidika and the Campus Diva Catherine Aluoch’

The tale of two girls – One with a brain and one with a big butt. The latter is Vera Sidika. Someone mentioned her to me a couple of months back and my eyes glazed over. I didn’t want to appear not ‘with it’ so I nodded and pretended I knew to whom they were referring. It finally hit me after she #trended last week. Ah, video vixen extraordinaire with some eh, assets. She appeared on The Trend with Larry Madowo and said that she had spent close to Sh 50 million lightening her skin. Two words for you Vera – Michael Jackson. Good luck with that. 

Anyhow, her interview got a lot of people upset. They talked about being sickened by this girl that was setting a bad example for young girls. First of all Vera, awesome shoes. Christian Louboutin? Well, well. Secondly, I’m not going to bash you. You chase that paper! I have a young daughter and I don’t believe that you shaking your booty will influence her life decisions in any way. It’s my job to bring her up right, not yours. Don’t let the moral brigade force you to be anyone’s role model and here’s why: 

We live in a society where women like you will never catch a break. Women will hate you because of your body. They will feel threatened when you are around their man. Men will objectify you. They will make lewd comments. Finding love will be tedious. No wonder you headed to Nigeria to find it. They are all throwing stones at you because you earn your money through your body part(s). Never mind that you probably have no other skill sets. What would they rather you were doing? A desk job? Honey, there is no organization you will work for where the boss or some important client does not hit on you. Sexual harassment is the order of the day for most girls so what about women who are built like you? Assuming you can actually hold the job down because no woman will allow her husband to hire someone with a booty like yours. Vera, do you and ignore the haters.

Moving along to the other girl – The brain. The campus diva was all over TV telling everyone her business. Girl, how did you get into medical school? You can’t go on national TV and tell the world that you are a ho. It’s not very smart. These TV guys can do awesome things like, you know, blur your image. Why didn’t you disguise your identity? You have disgraced your university; your parents and when you graduate, you will always be that girl that sleeps with older men for cash. Good luck finding one of those men now. With your face plastered everywhere I doubt they’ll be lining up to tap that booty. Married men above all else, require discretion. They also expect exclusivity. You are meant to be a trophy and those are not shared. 

Perhaps you should get a butt implant and join Vera on stage. This medical school thing will not work out. How do you even attend class without the entire student body mocking you? I suggest you do damage control and say that this was a social experiment for your thesis. Easy to say that you were looking to do a Master of Public Health in Community Health which requires you to study human behaviour. You need different research methods. This could’ve been one of them. You were a guinea pig studying how society views the promiscuous young girl. Sawa? You’re welcome. Now get back to class and keep your private life, private.