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LADIES, HERE ARE DUTIES YOU MUST NEVER DELEGATE TO YOUR HOUSEHELP....DO IT AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

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Attending to the bedroom
How much do you value your bedroom? Your bedroom is a fortress where ple@'sure is given and received. Yes, a place where two really become one; where vows stop being just words and take up form and shape.

“No one — except for me and my husband — is allowed to enter my bedroom,” a mother of one says. A nanny should not be allowed to access the bedroom willy-nilly. The bedroom is mystical that way. Husband and wife souls float in this space. Don’t let another woman — not even the nanny — bump into your husband’s soul lest they start a conversation.

Washing under'g@rments
In some cultures under'g@rments hold such mystical powers they can’t be thrown about in random conversations. Plus, they are not meant to be seen. The only exceptions to this rule are at the beach and when one’s faculties have been possessed by goblins. In Aliet’s opinion, “Und3rg@rments are very personal.

Don’t bundle them in the clothes basket with shirts and trousers. Let the nanny wash everything else but not clothes that form the first layer of cover: not yours and not your husband’s.” I suspect nannies too find it offensive when they have to do laundry and come across b0xer sh0rts or kni'ckers.

Yes, it is true: the nanny will yank away your husband plate by plate. I can already picture the feminists; rising from their lairs, aghast and ready to get grubby with words. They will say how men are such big babies who can’t keep it in their pa'nts.

The truth is men are actually life size babies. In the natural order of things, a husband and a wife serve each other. This is what marriage counsellor Jennifer Karina refers to as ‘commanding your space’.

The food may be cooked by the nanny.
Don’t allow her however to march over to where he is sitting and offer him a plate. If she is from that place where women kneel before their husbands even for mundane things such as greetings then you will quickly realise the true power of her charms. ‘Big baby’ may start asking that his food be served just like the nanny does it.

Okay. This should be the last one on husbands. Look at it this way, husbands are off limits for nannies. Here is the thing; women know each other very well not to trust each other with their husbands. Your nanny may have come into the house in search for a salary but that wouldn’t stop her from dreaming.

A man like yours: a man who can afford a blue Subaru running on a 1500CC is way better compared to the knucklehead who took off and left her with a pregnancy to carry. If the nanny is afforded the opportunity to dazzle your husband with a warm bath she will milk it for all its worth.

Operating difficult machines
Not all of us were born with similar privileges. Don’t assume that your nanny has the skills to operate the dishwasher. Or that the microwave oven has instruction notes perched on it and therefore she should read (and understand).

That, like Irene Nyakwoga found out at the start of this week, is a big mistake. One Monday she left for work and trusted that the nanny will have an easy time with the gas cooker. She returned home to firemen battling an inferno. Luckily her toddler son and the nanny were in the crowd as well. But then this situation is only unique to some. Use your judgement and instinct.
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