The young woman – I am reliably informed she is a business lady only months shy of her 30th birthday – wanted to surprise her ‘better half’. Well, she not only surprised the lucky guy, she surprised me too.
The dearly beloved lady, I am also told, posted the entire surprise affair on – you guessed it – her Facebook account. She gave her Facebook friends a blow by blow account of how the surprise went down, even attaching a video of the entire event.
Now, publicising your personal affairs on social media is shady and sleazy, but your marriage issues and ‘birthday surprises’? That is a new low.
Publicising such intimate details of your personal and married life screams “NOT USED TO THIS” and “LOW-LIFE”.
I know it is an expensive gift and you probably want to show off to the rest of us (very poor people who cannot raise even a million) what a great wife you are, and how generous you are.
The lady, with all due respect, is probably a very hardworking woman who has earned her money in a legit way. But you know, it is true what they say. Money can never buy you class.
There is absolutely no class in posting photos of such a cherished affair that is meant to be enjoyed by a newly-wed couple still enjoying the honeymoon phase of their marriage.
People with class that match their financial muscle don’t advertise what they own. In any case, the most affluent people in this world are the most modest about their largesse.
HALLMARK OF AFFLUENCE
If you talk to people with considerable wealth, they will tell you that public display of money – or rumours of money – is just a lower-middle class pattern.
Facebook and Instagram are calling cards of the struggling, lower middle class, while modesty is the hallmark of the affluent. Research shows, not my words.
I may have been accused of not knowing much, but I think I know a little wisdom about social media and marriage that this lovely young lady obviously lacks. So sit down darling, and let me school you just for a little while.
You see, if you want your relationship – or marriage – in this case to stay intact, keep social media away from your relationship.
You are married. Congratulations. You bought mzee a nice car for his birthday, that’s fantastic. Somebody give you a cookie for that.
But to advertise on social media just makes you vulnerable. It opens you and your marriage up to a barrage of problems like never before. I know this is a bitter pill of truth to swallow, but hang on sweetie, I am almost done.
When you advertise every aspect of your marriage, like most women your age do, you set for yourself some imaginary and un-achievable standards.
You create an illusion of a perfect life; perfect marriage and that will be your life sentence, thanks to the court of public opinion.
No matter how difficult things get in the future, you will be expected to put up that façade of ‘perfect life’ that you have fed your social media minions.
UNIMAGINABLE STANDARDS
Those ‘inferiors’ you want to impress on social media will be impressed. They will hang on to every post you upload on Facebook.
They will place you on a pedestal and upon your shoulders will be the herculean task of keeping up with those unmanageable standards that you have set for yourself.
For example, should your friends see your wonderful husband giving a pretty young thing (PYT) a lift from work, news will reach you that you bought your man a car to help him ferry other women in it.
It could be an innocent lift, but because of your social media theatrics, perspectives change. Hearts get broken. And people become public laughing stocks.
But of course there is always the brighter side which you chose to focus on, so much that it blinded the rationale behind the whole Facebook razzmatazz. Maybe I am just a cynical columnist, don’t mind me.
What I would like to tell you, my dear, is that 20 years from now, when you are old and grey, you will look back and see what a silly thing that was.
When your daughter tries to do something similar, you will tell her what you ought to have known today and what I will tell you now; you are not the first woman to gift her ‘hubby’ a car, neither will you be the last.
So, dear girl, relax. Take a breather. Enjoy your marriage, gift each other everything under the sun, but not on social media or on the blogs. It only hurts you and your marriage.
Leave social media bragging to socialites. You are not a socialite. You are a wife.
Meanwhile, Happy belated birthday to the lucky guy!’
BY NJOKI CHEGE
